Love, Distance & Finding Your Person
There was a time when I thought love was supposed to be easy.
Not easy in the sense that relationships never have problems, because even the most perfect couples still have arguments about stuff.
But I thought that when you met the right person, everything else would somehow fall into place.
Then I learned that sometimes finding your person doesnât mean finding someone who lives five minutes away.
Sometimes it means finding someone on the other side of the world.
And suddenly love becomes a lot more complicated.
There is something strange about loving someone you canât simply reach for.
You canât just say, âCome over,â when youâve had a terrible day.
You canât spontaneously meet for a walk or fall asleep next to each other because you happen to feel like it.
Sometimes you have to measure love in phone calls, messages, countdowns and airport arrivals.
You learn how much a simple âI miss youâ can actually hurt.
And you learn that airports can somehow be both the happiest and saddest places in the world.
Iâve learned that distance has a funny way of making you appreciate the smallest things.
A morning message.
A random picture of what theyâre doing.
Falling asleep on a video call.
Hearing their voice after youâve had a long day.
Knowing someone is thinking about you even when theyâre hundreds â or thousands â of kilometres away.
Things you might normally take for granted suddenly become everything.
And maybe thatâs one of the unexpected things distance teaches you about love:
You donât need someone beside you every second to feel close to them.
But I also wonât pretend that distance is romantic all the time.
Sometimes it is lonely.
Sometimes you just want a hug and a phone screen isnât going to do the job.
Sometimes you get tired of counting down the days until you see each other again.
Sometimes you wonder why you chose something that could be so difficult when there are probably easier ways to fall in love.
But then you remember the person.
Your person.
And somehow, the difficult parts become worth talking about instead of reasons to walk away.
Because finding your person isnât necessarily about finding someone who makes life effortless.
Maybe itâs finding someone who makes you want to do the difficult things together.
Someone who makes you feel understood.
Someone you can laugh with until your stomach hurts and also sit in silence with without feeling like you need to fill it.
Someone who knows your weird little habits and somehow still chooses you.
Someone who feels like home, even when youâre far away from home.
I think thereâs something beautiful about choosing someone over and over again.
Not because everything is perfect.
Not because you never disagree.
Not because you never get annoyed with each other.
But because underneath all of that, thereâs still this quiet feeling of:
Itâs you.
Iâve learned that love isnât always grand gestures and movie moments.
Sometimes itâs sending someone a picture of your dinner because you know theyâd want to see it.
Sometimes itâs remembering something they mentioned three weeks ago.
Sometimes itâs staying up a little longer because you donât want the conversation to end.
Sometimes itâs knowing exactly what will make them laugh.
Sometimes itâs simply being there.
And sometimes love is packing a suitcase, getting on a plane, and crossing an ocean because there is someone waiting for you on the other side.
I donât know if there is one specific moment when you realize youâve found your person.
Maybe itâs not supposed to happen that way.
Maybe you just slowly notice that this person has become part of your everyday thoughts.
You start imagining the future with them without even realizing youâre doing it.
You start thinking in we instead of just me.
You start building little dreams that have two people in them.
And one day you look around and realize:
Oh.
Itâs you.
After all the distance.
After all the waiting.
After all the goodbyes and hellos.
After the difficult days and the beautiful ones.
Somehow, through all of it, you found each other.
And maybe thatâs what love really is.
Not finding someone who makes life perfect.
But finding someone you want beside you while you figure it all out.
Someone to laugh with.
Someone to grow with.
Someone to annoy for the rest of your life about leaving their clothes on the floor.
Someone to come home to.
Someone who makes an ordinary Tuesday feel a little more like home.
Maybe finding your person isnât about finding the person who completes you.
Maybe itâs finding the person who makes you want to share the life youâre already becoming.
And after everything Iâve learned about love, distance, waiting and choosing someoneâŚ
I think thatâs a pretty beautiful thing.
â C. âž
